I’m sure we’re all familiar with the struggle. The meal of your dreams is nowhere in sight but you need your fix. What’s a poor, hungry soul to do? You cop that sucker, by hook or by crook. That fancy fusion resto you’ve been hankering for might not be in the near future but your friendly neighborhood convenience store sure is.

Enter the Slacker Survival Guide. This is a space for you to let your freak flag fly- or at least be as much of a culinary degenerate as you can. It’s all good. Whatever works, right?

For our first entry in the series, we’d like to introduce you to this little bizarro concoction we cobbled together with some Ministop eats and a mouth full of hell from Susmaryosep.



We don’t really have a name for it but then again, what IS this thing? It’s a lot of carbs. Maybe a lot of guilt, but arguably worth it if you’re indulgent and kind of hate yourself in that super specific way. Here goes nothing!


This is what you’ll need:


First, you need to set the pork aside. This stuff comes with rice in a small bowl, so just lay the pork on the lid or something.

Take a helping of mac and cheese and mix it in with the rice. Yeah, mix it in good. Whether you like more rice or macaroni in your bowl, that’s entirely up to you. There is a bit of sweetness/density to the mac and cheese, but we find that the rice gives it enough headroom to still be rich and cheesy without being too overbearing.

Add some Susmaryosep chili to the mix. It doesn’t have to be a specific amount. Go with what works for you. It’s an interesting note that works well with the lush base you mixed earlier.

Now that you have that glorious mess together, you may place the pork back in the bowl. The inherent crunch and saltiness contrasts well with the sweetness and mouth feel of the rice and macaroni mix. It’ll inevitably end up tasting like a birthday party, but we have no regrets. Neither should you.


Congratulations! You just made a mess. We love you all the more for it.

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